I joke a lot about getting hit by a car while riding my bike because the idea seems very comical in a happy morbid way, so this might surprise you, but it’s not nearly as hilarious in real life – not for me anyhow.  I almost got hit, not once, but twice last night.  Both times it was the exact same situation, a car was stopped behind another car that was trying to make a turn, then right as I was riding up, the car in the back swung around the other car into my bike lane, nearly clipping me in the process.

One of the car that nearly did me in was a Geo Metro-type car,  you know the kind of car that looks like it’s made of cheapo plastic – like if you really wanted to, you can karate chop that outer-shell in half.  That same car suddenly looks like a solid brick of steel while I’m sitting on an aluminum foil coat-hanger.  I was returning home from the market with some organic abalone mushroom…does this person even know what a crime it is to come between a girl and magically delicious food?  If I was carrying a can of spam, the driver might have been doing me a favor – but fresh abalone mushroom?  Oh, the inhumanity!

This brings to mind an article I read recently about how ladies are more like to die in bike/car accident because we tend to obey the law.  I thought about how I stopped at the light and these two guys rode by me, I felt like the person that stood alone at the crosswalk while everyone else jay-walked.  A friend of mine just got ticketed for riding through a red light in Capital Hill…so now I get to pick my poison of being fined a hundred bucks or risk getting killed.  I think I’m going to have to go with…the dark beer, for a more full bodied flavor. 

 

We got our bi-weekly shipment from Costco today and we got muffins along with soda and endless candies.  I was contemplating the muffins:

Coworker 1: Ah, the inner battle.

Me: What?  There’s no inner battle here, unless you meant ‘blueberry or poppy-seed’ battle.

I decided to go for the poppy-seed, and since I’m not one for too much sweets in the morning, I offered half to another coworker that just walked in.

Me: Want the other half of this muffin?

Coworker2: No way, you keep your opium to yourself.

Me: You have a thing against poppy-seed?

Coworker2: Yeah, because it’s opium.

Me: Hmmmm…well, I’m Chinese, we have a thing for opium.

Coworker2: Ah yes, going back to your roots I see.

Me: Yes, back to the days where the white man shipped us opium to keep us down.  Stop oppressing me, white man!  *shakes fist at white coworker2*

One of these days, I will get fired for misconduct – if I don’t get smooshed by a cheap plastic car first.