Floating and Waiting

What do you think of when you think of “home”? I think of the place where I put all my “stuff”. I consider myself officially homeless because when I close my eyes and think about where home is – I draw a blank. Being that I’m in my hometown filled with family and friends, I’ll never be out on the streets or anything, but it’s still strange to not really have a permanent stash spot.

I thrived on security and familiarity. I used to not sleep well if it’s in a foreign place. When I traveled, I would sleep like crap for a few days until exhaustion took over then I would sleep the “sleep of the deads” for a night, rinse, repeat. After a while, being away from home would stress me out and I would long to return from vacation.

One of the most beautiful thing about being human is our ability to adapt. In the short time that I’ve been homeless, my mental attachment to my material things is broken. It’s such a delicious feeling to not have my possessions possess me. It feels like floating. I think about where home is, and it’s precisely wherever I am standing. I know I’m taking this situation a bit lightly being that I know my current state is temporary and that it’s by choice, but it’s still nice to let myself float away for a moment. It’s wonderful to take a break from Thoreau’s “Men have become the tools of their tools.”


I mentioned wanting to volunteer for Harborview Hospital nearly two months ago and I’ve stopped talking about it, so obviously my dedication is waning. After all, I’ve already taken FOUR shots in the arm and had two letters of recommendation filled out, so why not just give myself a break? Ah, if only that was the case. Harborview is the largest trauma center serving four states, they have at least 200 hundred volunteers that are being managed by 3 people. I had my volunteer interview yesterday after waiting over a month…the interview is mostly to see which department I would best fit in. Then before I can volunteer I have to attend a mandatory orientation from 4-6:30 which is held one Wednesday per month. I’m 3rd on a waiting list for May 30th, but if I don’t get in that, it will be June 27th before I can attend.

It’s a good thing I’m only volunteering for a hospital and not somewhere important like a place where people might die if things move at a slow pace.

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