Being homeless has a serious side-effect of extreme crabbiness. I need to find a way to remove this stick from my ass and snap out of this funk.

Since the place I’m staying at doesn’t have internet connection, I figured I have the perfect excuse to buy a new laptop. Then I can drive around residential neighborhoods and steal their internetz and be creepy. Sure, I can go to a café like the hipsters and get it for free, but I take this as my opportunity to shine as the creep.

I don’t want to squander all my hookers and blow fund on a typing device, but I can’t stand being away from all of you for so long. I’ll just have to cheer myself up by surfing for pron while waiting in line for my grandé soy mocha.

In other news, this article is really creeping me out because I walk around alone at night in Capitol Hill all the time.