Bitch and You Shall Receive

I don’t believe in giving people a hard time even when I know I’m getting the short end of the stick. This is clearly something that needs to be worked on.

After I generally fell apart in pathetic wails of my-life-sucks over a stupid failed home loan, the boyfriend took to calling the loan rep’s boss to bitch about the crappy service. Not to mention the sitting on my file for two weeks until I reminded her of an impending due date, to which she did a “Whoops! I’ll file an extension for you free of charge.” Yeah.

The loan rep was terrible. She actually told me I would have to look elsewhere, with less than 13 days left on the timer with seller. I asked her if I tried to apply for another loan through them, if they would be able to at least help speed it up. If I went with another company, I would have to wait for credit checks and appraisals all over again. She pretty much said no.

Somehow, after the boyfriend bitched to her boss, I got a call back from her today offering all kinds of loan options. When all the initial options failed, they created a loan for me which they call “Special Case Loan”. I’ve never felt better about riding the short bus and also I need to learn how to bitch more. I’m only ever good at bitching out the boyfriend and small puppies, clearly I need to widen my target audience.

Two things I didn’t know until now: The mild mannered boyfriend is the Bitch Master in the relationship. I have much to learn, such a young grasshopper I am. I always assumed loans have set rules and guidelines that must be met or fuhgeddaboudit. Apparently, if at first you don’t qualify for a loan, yell until they give you one.

In telling my friend, Sung, about the “Special Case Loan” he said, this is because it sounds better than “We Fucked Up So We’re Sorry Loan”. The new loan carries the best conventional loan interest rate we’ve been offered since starting this whole process back in March and since it’s conventional, we no long have to pay mortgage insurance. Yay!

So the lucky move-in day is back on! ¬†Hopefully I will be moving in on my lunar calendar birthday. My mom made me a list of stuff I have to move in with for good-luck, it’s a strange list of stuff like pillow, bag of rice, soy sauce, etc. Sung asked if he should buy some rice and soy sauce for good luck too. It doesn’t quite work like that, but I advised him that in the event of a Zombie¬†Apocalypse, he might be able to survive on rice and soy sauce for a while, so he should get some regardless.

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