Douchebag Crisis

Wow…there are a couple write-ups so long overdue. I’ve been at lost for words to describe the whole experience, I can’t tell if it’s because of the days spent in low oxygen level or just being a few weeks out of practice is causing my writer’s block. A small part of it, I attribute to the fact that the days following two back to back epic mountain climbs leads to life feeling…not quite real. I don’t know how to say that without coming off as a douchebag with existential crisis, but right now, I feel like my head is stuck in a cloud and nothing feels real.

Perhaps this is not that different than coming back from Burning Man, where reality has a different meaning. I would never in Seattle, consider hugging a random stranger before introducing myself. I tried walking around Seattle in a bikini-top over the weekend, people stared and stared. Oh cover the children’s eyes. Burners often come back feeling like living the Burning Man lifestyle is the only way to go, and soon as one burn is over, they spend all their time preparing for the next burn. And also only their Burner friends are “real”. I’m not that douche that will tell you that Burning Man is home. I don’t think Burner life or mountaineer’s life is “the way”. Neither life is really sustainable for me, in both situations I spend much of my time wishing for a shower and flushing toilet, while wishing to not burn/freeze to death.

Now that I think about it, I’ve been having a real hard time sitting perfectly still since I got back from my mountain climbs. I haven’t read a single book since I got back. When I was sitting on Rainier, freezing my ass off, I kept thinking, when I get back, I would love nothing more than to sit on the beach and read a good book. Since I got back, I only want to get back out ┬áto the mountains or I don’t know, go chop wood with my bare hands.

This middle-class ennui phase will pass.

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