Jungle Legs

A lot of men have much nicer legs than women. They are naturally taller, thus legs longer. My favorite pair of legs is on a drag queen.

My sister and I were clubbing in Vancouver when they happened to have a drag competition. The most beautiful drag queen of them all wore a long slinky red gown with high slits up the side to showoff legs that goes for miles. She was tall with a short torso, which made her ridiculously leggy in the way that fashion designers draw models with unreal proportions. My sister and I are both exactly 4’11″ and 3/4″. We envied and drooled over her long shapely legs. Legs that were probably nearly as long as we were tall. Drool.

The boyfriend has nicer legs than me. My ass trumps all, but I do have leg envy. He knows this too. He taunts me with talks of wearing short dresses and showing off his nicer legs in them. Of course as a guy, he does have leg hair, and does he ever have them. He’s half Korean plus Asian mutt but part Samoan, and I think the Samoan blood gave him thick rich hair, head and legs.

We hiked Mailbox Peak this Saturday. Being the swamp season that it has been here, there were endless streams of bugs chasing us up and down the mountain. Even at the summit, we were swatting bugs away. At one point, one fly got caught in the boyfriend’s leg hair, and I watched with a mixture of horror and delight when it starts climbing around in it. I told him, I think there’s a fly climbing around in his leg hair. He flicks it off with disgusts, “Ugh, was he doing jungle gym in my leg hair?” I nodded. I’m sure if I watched carefully, I could have seen it do summersaults around a hair, or perhaps some fancy pole dancing action. Either way, it was gross and funny for me, I win.

Now, when the boyfriend gloats about his sexy longer legs, I get to advise him to shave his legs first, because bug’s jungle gym legs just isn’t as dead sexy.

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